Good-faith lies hurt the child
When it came to Qingming, in the face of children who lost their parents, many people would use good faith lies such as “the parents went on a business trip” to conceal the truth.
This person can’t help but remember a story of “suicide to save his father” that happened in Wuxi this Spring Festival: 13-year-old girl Lin Lin’s father had advanced liver cancer, and her mother used a good faith lie to conceal her daughter’s illness.
When Lin Lin found the medical certificate, she swallowed 200 tablets of sleeping pills, and intended to donate her liver to save her father . Fortunately, Lin Lin was rescued now, but faced with a more cruel reality: the seriously ill father died recently.
Should we continue to weave good-faith lies, or tell the truth to the child?
Lies in good faith will prolong the suffering of children When major family incidents occur, many families want to use good faith to prevent children from being hurt.
A good-faith lie is good from a motive point of view, but the effect may not be good. Concealing the truth with a good-faith lie will only prolong the pain of the child.
I remember that during the Wenchuan earthquake, many children lost their parents. Psychologists have repeatedly reminded to tell their children the truth. They do not need to trick their children into saying that “parents are away on business” or “parents have gone to heaven.”
This is because children are often more aware than adults, and they will try to figure out what is going on.
Children who are too sensitive may even worry about insomnia and become sensitive and suspicious.
What’s more, the facts will eventually come to the fore, and the sudden unfortunate news is likely to cause the child to immediately collapse.
The girl in Wuxi, Lin Lin, took the aggressive action of “suicide to save her father” because of the unbearable impact of the thunderbolt.
Turning losses into new attachments Freeman, a British educational psychologist, points out that in one’s life, you will experience many small and major losses.
Major loss or disruption of intimacy, divorced parents, death of loved ones, etc.
Knowing the truth in time can minimize the impact of major family events on the child, help the child to accept the facts early, actively adjust the mentality, and turn the loss into a new attachment as soon as possible, such as establishing close relationships with other relatives.
Concealing the truth has actually missed the child’s best adaptation period for major events.
It is also facing a serious illness or death of the parents. In our life, we have heard and seen too many moving stories of “strong children who have become home early.” It can be seen that children know the truth early and can share with parents as soon as possible. This is very beneficial to the mental growth of children.Yes.